Guitar Circle Journals

Tomorrow is the beginning of the middle of the semester. The homework I’ve been grading says it’s time for corrective measures taken during class time.

This morning: AT teacher training (good work here) and a private lesson, followed by a drive back home to give a practice lesson.

Then to campus, from time to to time facebooking as a means of looking away from evidence that rouses despair.

Then grading into the evening, as needs be done.

A bit of reflection on attention and focus, as related to awareness. Attention doesn’t require awareness, pretty clearly. And vice versa.

If not perceiving the two dimensions of time, one does not have the perspective by which to judge the wasting of time.

Here, now, at the end of a year-long cycle in the workplace, I find that very little is required of me. So, I do my best not to interfere.

My body is asking me to take better care of it. I keep finding myself in situations that “require” me to misuse myself. The quotes are there because I know that there is no such requirement, but I choose to misuse myself for a number of “legitimate” reasons. The quotes are there because . . . oh, you get the idea.

Feeling, and, sensing out of rhythm this day; maybe I should have rested on Sunday; somehow,
I know that my state is connected to the first nightshift…

Noon spend with AAD work and my mother.

In the afternoon I go to the Egelsee. I am alone there for almost half an hour until a small group of people arrive. I take, probably the last bath in a lake for this year. It is so refreshing, and I feel different afterwards, more grounded, wheres, before there were too many thoughts in my head.

Evening driving to Klagenfurt, meeting with H. for prayer. Before this, I want to pass by the KIZ to give a CD to S. who was allowed to leave to France, but, he already left. As I turn on the radio, just by chance a french song is played, the chorus says, “au revoir”.

Synchronicity?

A wonderful evening spent together with H., feeling much more energized than during the day.

Driving home with french Hip-Hop in the cd-player.

Thinking of S. wishing him the best for his future.

Rain at dawn, but that quickly passes.

Teaching day, pretty much all day. Due to a misunderstanding on my part, I end up buying a $4 fruit cup for lunch, that I thought was 79 cents, after the job of the day was completed.

Bike riding, AT lie down, guitar, piano, in the evening. Recording the basic tracks of yet another song, but not quite enough presence left for a clean cut.

Reading Mr. B’s DU II. Good stuff. The scope is mind boggling.

During Yoga this morning, my phone rings. It’s my colleague Tania. „ahm, I don’t know if you know already, but we meet once a week it’s obligatory“
I had forgotten. My „working day“ would begin at 13.00, but, the meeting is at 8.30. „Ok; I’ll be there in 20 minutes“
Kind of shaky beginning in the KIZ, but, after a lengthily, very emotional meeting with the whole Team, I clean windows. And, how could it be otherwise, someone joins me… Quality spreads.
The Rest of the day is a balancing out of different moods of clients; not too difficult, but, hard to do it with the minimum effort / energy needed. Somehow I feel that it’s going to be a though night, so, I decide to go to the lake with three kids; some fresh air and mother nature to enable them to release some moods, and to become a little bit more physically tired.
Two of them even play with the idea to jump into the lake, I encourage that and, soon afterwards they are in. I would have loved to join them, but I took the save way this day.
At home, Guitar practice, playing around with a 5 tone scale; D F G# A A#, practicing AAD material, then computing and soon to bed.

Sketches and off-the-top of my head thinking from the day-

Architecture is: points of certainty; the relationships between those points; and the space defined by those points and relationships.

Architecture defines the space in which something can happen.

Architecture is one of the conditions that allow work to take place.

Woke up with a headache again. I attribute this to allergens (ragweed in particular). It lifts rather rapidly after I rise.

Working at home in the morning.

Midday on campus. Then a counseling sessions and grocery shopping.

Home, reading DU II. Then some more work. And recording.

The morning was filled with a lot of drifting/dreaming in the thinking center. This leads to an insight as to how to deal with this more effectively (nothing new, other than the insight as to how the process works). In any event, attention expands and contracts, it seems.

Yesterday’s round of necessary household tasks became more complex when our youngest became ill. All seems well now – probably something she ate. This required some internal flexibility on the part of the rest of the family. For example – we will eat dinner, we just don’t know when.

An experience from today – the moment when I realize that someone is lying to me. There is no doubt. And now I feel like I am in a hazardous position – what to do about the lie? Do I call them on it? Do I take the time/energy to prove them wrong? Do I let it go? There is, of course, no universally correct answer to these questions.

A bit of a lie in this morning, physically exhausted from yesterday’s paddling, but refreshed too, especially emotionally and mentally.

AT Teacher Training from 12:30-5:30 (the last hour with my practice student). Good things happening here, again. The whispered ah is a key procedure and unlocks many doors.

Dinner out with friends and The Wife, at the Flying Saucer in Austin. A wonderful time!

Drive home and prepare for the ending of the day.

Rise at 5.00, later than I anticipated, but the sleep was worse than I anticipated too. The house has very thin walls and up from the streets I could hear young men shouting at each other amt 2.32 a.m.
I had half an hour of yoga before the sitting to „wake up“ but it was of little use today, fighting with tiredness.
After documentation work, opening doors and windows I prepare pancakes for the kids.
At 8.30 my colleague arrives. I give her an update on the most recent events, afterwards we decide to work together in making this institution more to a home, step by step with little things such a curtain in the office.
At home I have breakfast with my sister Alexandra, afterwards I head to my flat. A short visit in the Internet becomes hours, then I decide to stay up for the rest of the day and I begin with AAD practice.
I experiment with a „hexatonic scale“ that was „created“ while I was doing calisthenics for the left hand. The notes are A A# C# D F G. I even figure out arpeggios; just later I discover that it’s actually just a harmonic minor scale without an E; D E F G A A# C#
Or, is it something different? At least I had fun and felt energized after practicing.
At 15.15 I follow the invitation of my friend Martin to attend a service in a church in Klagenfurt and to meet before.

The village Martin is living in is called Maria Wörth. It is as close to a lake called Wörthersee.

I meet Martin and his parents at the beach of the lake, and we have coffee and cake there. It is still warm enough to go swimming as long as the sun is shining.

The service begins at 19.00 and we leave just in time to be there punctual. The Theme for today is “Being a Muslim in Carinthia”
The church feels energized to me, and I feel embraced several times during the event.

A young Moroccan man sings Arabic folk and plays guitar.
A Turkish Imam recites first from the Mathnawi of Rumi, then form the Quran and at the end demonstrates the Adana. A young Turkish man responsible for Integration in Carinthia’s 2nd biggest city gives a talk, mainly sharing demographic data about Muslims in Carinthia and Austria.

Although only 2percent of the Carinthians are Muslims, they are (self)organized in four different branches; Arabic, Bosnian, Chenia and Turkish.
For me, the highlight of this service were the words of an old nun who made it clear in on sentence that Integration is nothing a government can do, it is something that depends on the initiative of people, offering their time to their neighbours to make a dialogue, an exchange possible.
Her last sentence was (referring to the different small branches of Islam here in Austria)
“Maybe they(the Muslims) need us (Christians) to talk to each other. We needed a lot of time ourselves (between different Christian branches) to come together. And, if we have established a meeting place, a communion of live, we can begin with the communion of the spirit”
Driving Martin back to his place. We have tea together and a talk with his parents about the service.

A present I receive from Martin just before I leave today:

“Gye nyame”, Adinkra symbol meaning “except for what God allows to happen” or “Unless God allows it to happen” (wikipedia)

Long trip back home. I need to fight with tiredness, so I sing and rap along the whole 1,5 hours…
Late to bad…