Guitar Circle Journals

It feels like i am going to attend a GC course soon…
I wonder that something that we know as process can be named. So – there is something unbelievable, endless unnameable and we transform it until we are able to name it and transform it back again – but now something is added. That is how it tastes for me. I do not know if we will ever be able to find a name for such appearances. It is amazing what a human being is doing without knowing it. I trust myself to say that it is a privilege to be one as well as to be here on earth. In this very moment it is so clear to me how magical life is. I am sure I will have forgotten it very soon. But right now it is here and present. And I trust that life will never stop remembering me – us!

Vienna, Austria

…Cinnamon skys…

Awaking. Coming down. Calling on. The morning rituals unfold in an empty room. I feel how Yesterday is gone and how far away the Tomorrow is. Now. And then it seems so near. My body is in a weak condition. A kind of sickness accompanies me during the last weeks . it is getting even more intensive within the last days. I am getting even more intensive.

I make my way to the underground station with Philippe and Richard on my side. Then I follow the path to the agency. It is the 6th month that I am working there. I have to decide if I wish to continue this work. During I am sitting behind my desk I feel that something is going on in the body of the GCV. Something is shifting. The parts of the body move. The driving force challenges the units to break the chains. Intense sensations in my body underline it.

At 20:30 I meet up with Poopak. A really needed encounter which makes me grateful. This Persian jewel never stops amazing me. We arrive home around midnight and have a superb Persian late-night-snack. Richard joins us and we spend the last minutes of this special day together. Different faces. Thomas is on night shift. I update the ECP website with new reports and then to bed.

Best wishes fly out.

John Newton

Vienna, Austria

It is dark when i get up. Again a birthing day. Welcome. A sitting on the ground – and than landing. The guitar asks me to tune it – then play it. At the agency there is a lot to do. I am busy with completing various tasks. Since some days i notice that i feel a stronger need to leave things in a neutral state – in a state of readyness. On my way home – something is happening in the sky. Colors i have never seen before appear – a field of gold is unfolding – a stairway from heaven…it is difficult not to get touched by this happening.

As i arrive home after work – i find a present on my desk – it is from Thomas. A watch!

Then time for ECP, WS and GC Course preperations.

…and there comes a wave and another… I am looking in the eye of a child…

Warmth and Trust.

Vienna, Austria

At the beginning of this day it is clear – that there is a lot of movement ahead. I sense a special flow in the air – calling for preperation. A visit. In the afternoon the energy level is rising – difficult to handle. My point of view shifts completely and it feels like it is the first time that i use my feet. It is not me – i think by myself…and wonder.

A visit at the hair dresser.

I arrive at the GCV home one hour before the 3rd Extended Circle Meeting. More time for preparation. Connecting – Tuning.

19:30 – 22:00 Extended Circle Meeting in the Persian Room

Again there is opening this special place – inviting us. The Extended Circle Project Participants – one by one – named: Barbara, David, Firat, Jacek, Marcelo, Pascal, Renate, Wolfgang. The pictures in front of us – their presence. So intensive and so real.

Somehow it feels like a division of attention exercise. Sitting here in the Persian Room with Poopak, Richard and Thomas playing the guitar while „sitting” in this special place in the Extended Circle – doing nothing. Looking through one window into another.

So much support. A blessing.

The completion is as strong as the beginning. Richard calls to complete this meeting with The Lord`s prayer. And we pray…

Completion.

Then a nourishing tea, fruits and sweets in the kitchen prepared by Poopak. We share our experiences with sparkles in our eyes.

22:19 the first report for today`s Circle Meeting reaches us – again from Uruguay! Some minutes later another one from Istanbul! Amazing! ESP website update.

Still looking through different eyes…

Vienna, Austria

Good morning day! Welcome sun! I begin the day with a salt bath – afterwards a Sitting with Thomas in the Green Room. Breakfast.

GCV Home Accounting for September. Preparations for the upcoming GC course in San Cugat. ECP website update. Genteling.

During the whole day i have an headache which influences the whole state of my body. At a certain point in the afternoon something shifts and i feel somehow younger and lighter.

In the evening i visit a collueage. We have dinner together – 3 different kinds of pizza with some red wine and afterwards a selfmade cake and coffee. And then it happens – my phonecell fell into the toilette. Now it is out of order. This was a meeting in a different world.

Home again around midnight. It feels so good to be at home! A short and gentle phonecall with Thomas who is on night shift again. A last ECP update for today. Feeling this warm place inside of me.

The Green Room

The larger Green Room

Vienna, Austria

burning inside
the outside
melt them

oh burn them
inside out
that incomes
the outside

hold me
please
tell me the words
I must hear

I volunteer
to hear them

without fear
to feel them

even
If I should disappear
you know
I am really here

right here

to be the fire
that burns and burns and burns
keeps burning

09.09.2008

Vienna, Austria

The morning unfolding. I am arriving.

Rituals.

At the agency there is a lot going on – today I sense less resistance in the air. During the work i find some time to update the ECP website. There is a special connection in the air – dancing.

The evening is off. Some time to gentle and for a walk in the rain. I feel a wish is growing…underway.

Embracing the world…

Vienna, Austria

I get up – still wondering about the way how i begin the day. Today I can feel such a strong wish or even necessity to be “here” – in order to participate life – and to be able to perceive what the moment is offering or even asking. So – today a extended morning sitting. Calling on…

This day is growing like a flower – and in the evening it is blooming. Excitement and a strong feeling that today we are blessed.

How near is AAD – how deep…

Poopak, Richard, Thomas and Heike are sitting in the kitchen – energized and touched.

Some minutes after the Extended Guitar Circle Meeting I make a joke and suggest to check the office mails – may be someone has sent a report. And what a surprise – someone did! ECP website update with Richard.

Report and flying deeper…

Vienna, Austria

…welcome…

The first thing which comes to my mind when i wake up this morning is the decision which i made yesterday. I have the sense that this is going to influence my whole day / life / world of experiences.

The whole night I have been carried. Warmth came my way.

To get up in the morning seems to me more and more harder. Why is this? The thought comes to me that it is because I am not innocent – even in the first moments of a new day. I am so convinced of how the things are and how they will unfold – that there is no place for something new to happen. In this drawer “getting up in the morning” is a lot of unnecessary stuff. This is where I am. Remember: “Be very careful about the beginning…”

Nevertheless – good news this morning. There are new applications for the Extended Circle Project and more sign ups for the upcoming Extended Guitar Circle Meeting! So much support and help is coming our way.

First it was vision – now it is alive.

I am thankful to get a sense of the uniqueness and the peculiarity of a “one being” – coming together in a group to form another “one being”. Then comparison – in a certain sense – could seem as something really unnecessary and even strange.

At some point I find myself in a situation where I ask my self – what more could one be than thankful – is there a further level of it?

I spend the whole day in the agency. Lucky as i am Thomas finds some time to bring my laptop so that the ECP website can be updated. Lots of emails fly out. After work i go for some shopping – as i walk along i become aware that i am not aware. I meet with Thomas and three friends of us for a snack and then home to the guitar.

A lot of situations of this day show me – again – where i am. I am not able to count until 4.

Well, then.

Now it is 22:57. What a day – full of touching surprises and shocking disappointments.

…Act of Grace…

Vienna, Austria

The same morning routine as the days before. Asleep – i am blind for new creations – with my thoughts already somewhere in the future. One journey after another – while i am missing my self. I wonder „Who is she – standing in front of the mirror?“

Today i make another decision. Immediately a process begins.

Guitar Practice.