Guitar Circle Journals

“The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.”
William Blake

Another nightshift in the KIZ.

I am walking slowly down the street, feeling somehow “vulnerable”, open to distraction and to offenses… but, then, my state is what it is.

This day began after a long, slightly drunken sleep. I worked on a traditional yearly fest of my mother’s restaurant last night; and, strangely enough, I enjoyed working there with the family for the first time since years.

In the afternoon today I was following an invitation of my aunt for lunch; a bunch of relatives was invited as well, including my blind cousin R.
I had a great time with him, having dialogues and “digging” in the world of sound. How is live, when you have never ever seen? Especially in a world where we use so many “symbols” and analogies referring to “sight”. “Weltanschauung”, “let’s see how it goes….” “Good to see you”

Entering the KIZ a loud scream welcomes me “Thomas” and many hugs are followed. “I missed you..” Says M. our youngest client with 7 years.

The evening continues loud, but in “order”. The highlight for the kids was when I allowed them to put on make up and all that stuff on my face ( I lost a bet the other day) Many photos and videos with various mobile – recorders were shot, and promises of postings on YouTube and event shooters… well…

Close to midnight. Let’s have a look if everybody is asleep….

Rather often than rarely see days passing, leaving an empty feeling inside; then when I ask myself what it was/is that made this day worth living, I have no answer.

Today, I experienced one of these moments that are bringing light into our/my life; seeing the eyes of my mother. A moment without words, yet of love and understanding, soon interrupted by the demands of day to day live; yet it was there.

Leaving the KIZ from the nightshift at 10, and then soon to bed, up again at 14.00. Lunch with granny, and an afternoon of research on the web, coming across various accounts on the philosophical background of material arts on the ewto homepage; some passages have striking similarity to 4th way terminology (three kinds of food, or the accounts on negative emotions)

Late afternoon, again, cleaning, due to current circumstances in the KIZ.

20.00 Skyping with Germany. another highlight of the day.

Continuing with reading, and having a gentle end of the day.

Thanks…

Back from two days of intensive “Touch Base” with the whole company from Hotel Prägant in Bad Kleinkirchheim.

I have been entrusted with the task of defining the art of “welcoming” new clients at the KIZ in Carinthia.

Continuing with points on my “To Do” list, getting almost everything solved this morning, but new points are added later the afternoon.

Posting a report on the AAD Site this noon and feeling satisfied with it; it´s often enough that the words don´t seem to convey the actual experience.

Afternoon Guitar practice combined with an improvisation in Ableton 8.

Cleaning and then preparing for today´s nightshift.

Out from the nightshift at 10.30, a little late, but I do feel fine.

I pass by the middle school on my way home and bring an additional Lunchbox to one of our clients before I go home to take a nap.

Rise again at 2pm, meeting with the family for lunch, then, finally some personal time.

17.00 Introduction to WT

18.30 Meeting with Georg, we spend the evening togehter, going to the sauna. Revitalising

23.00 In front of the Desktop. Emails and similar things.

Checking the AAD Page again, Printing instructions.

Today I get the clear sense that I need to change something… and I feel something coming in.

Nightshift in the KIZ

Looong sleep today. I feel exhausted after this time in vienna; I let go of the pressure and try to find some time for myself; which I haven´t had for some time since on my days off form the KIZ I hang around in the capital city.

Anyway, a longer and longer becoming to do list is welcoming me after lunch and I begin, again, step by step, to free myself from short term commitment to focus on the long term commitments.

Today I write my application for San Cugat this December; I am looking forward to it with joy already.

The night is calm so far, already three past midnight. Need to do some more work, and then I will hopefully get some rest.

A day dedicated to prepare myself for the challange tomorrow; holding a course / workshop at the ZID.

I have to admit that holding myself “concentrated” in front of this is difficult for me. My mind trys to “look” for
other interesting things all the time, or tells me what I could do else instead of “studying” all this stuff.

Anyway. By the end of the day I don´t feel 100% confident, but, prepared enough to go for it, and, somehow I even look forward to it; it´s something new, and I can test what I have learned.

Happiness….

5.30 Rise, sitting then straight into work; preparing breakfast for the kids, writing reports.

8.30 Team until 12.45

During the Lunch break I keep on working, calling clients, writing another report, organizing appointments.

14.00 Team Supervision, a new experience in this context, very very useful in terms of clearing minds, restating aims, letting go of expectations.

16.15 finally, after 22h at the KIZ I´m on my way back home. It´s the first time that I have a difficulty to let go of work, carrying something with me, still trying to find solutions for a problem while I walk.

16.55 Dinner with granny, then getting my luggage an then to the train station.

Sitting in the train, sensing my tired body and having a slight headache, nevertheless, AAD Guitar practice in the Train, phone calls, studying.

Arrival approximately at Midnight at WSG.

2nd November 2009

Early rise, calm breakfast with granny. Afterwards I drive to a farmer near the city, buying fresh milk for our family’s restaurant. I have a longer conversation there, the farmers “welcome” me back to the “small village” life..l

During the day I make a major step forward in the conceptualisation for the course on Friday, working with different converters and finding a useful source-page and creating cutting exercises for the students.

In the late afternoon I receive a call, an invitation for a free Wing Tsun Training. I’m looking forward to see, testing what suits me more, Aikido or this style of martial arts…

Today’s guitar practice is filled with a lot of power and energy, calisthenics are fun again.

Nightshift at the KIZ. A calm beginning, however, our special client is coming back this night; difficulties arise soon afterwards, but can be solved.

Looks like an early night today… but, you never know

7.30 Breakfast with the family, Mozart is there as well an welcomes me with his enthusiasm and joy.

8.30 Beginning of my working day in the KIZ, a day full of games and fun with our new client.

The highlight for me is a badminton game in the afternoon and the painting of a huge sign with acryl colors for the kitchen.

In the evening I drive to Maria Wörth, approximately one hour from the town where I live, following an invitation of Matthias. I feel tired and stressed before and while I go there, but, as I arrive, I know I’m at the right place. A welcoming atmosphere of friendship and freshly cooked food calms me down and makes me breath freely.

In the garden there is a huge campfire, Martin is playing on the guitar, and a meeting of various old friends in the house and around the campfire is going on.

It’s quite amazing to see how many of my old pals and friends from my school time took on various educational programs, to, finally, as myself, work as social workers, or in related fields.

On the way back to Spittal at 23.21